MY HERO IS MY ABAH !!

A few days ago my friend keep sing a song from a movie title "Sound of Music". she said she can't stop sing the song since she watched the movie. I smiled at her and told her that movie is my favourite movie..My late father told me that he was 13 years old when his first time watched movie at cinema and that movie is his first movie..maybe because of that I love the movie too..I also listen to the Beatles songs which is my late father favourite n become my favourite too..

Since last week I feel a bit sad because miss him so much and today (28.10.2013) is the third year he leave all of us..I still can remember the smell of him all the time..i even can feel his skin..I still remember my mom told me that my late father used to wear my shirt because he miss me when I was in my university at UKM. He said he can smell me in my shirt..subhanallah!! He also teaches me how to perform prayer and I still remember even it was long time ago how he demonstrate the prayer in front of me..it was beautiful moment ever. I will not forget how he work hard day and night doing our family business together with my mother.. they seem never meet with "tired", "bored" and "give up"!!

ABAH..i really miss u so much..so much..if only i can hug n kiss u even for a second..if only i knew how hard my life will b without you..if only i knew how much I will miss you n needing you..and for that thank you Allah s.w.t for grant me such HERO..may Allah s.w.t ease him there and give forgiveness for him..ameen..inshaAllah u will always in my prayer and heart..I love u abah..al fatihah..

Rasulullah s.a.w said "you and your property is belong to your father " (Asy-syafi'i and Abu Dawud)

And We have enjoined upon man, to his parents, good treatment. His mother carried him with hardship and gave birth to him with hardship, and his gestation and weaning [period] is thirty months. [He grows] until, when he reaches maturity and reaches [the age of] forty years, he says, "My Lord, enable me to be grateful for Your favor which You have bestowed upon me and upon my parents and to work righteousness of which You will approve and make righteous for me my offspring. Indeed, I have repented to You, and indeed, I am of the Muslims." (Surat Al-Ahqaf :15)

(Note: photo (left) was taken in  one of our food stall 'nasi Lemak Mokhtar' in Kuantan, photo (right) was taken in UKM during my Master Degree convocation in August 2009)

TENTANG CINTA

cinta itu terlalu sulit tuk dikongsi apatah tuk dikabarkan-kabarkan dan diwarkan-warkan..

cinta itu tanda perasaan paling tinggi labuh nya..maka tiadalah perkabaran tentang cinta melainkan disimpan rapi tertutup penuh pelihara oleh sang pencinta..

seperti kata-kata sasterawan negara Keris Mas "cinta tidak pernah kehilangan erti" (Saudagar Besar dari Kuala Lumpur) maka tiadalah limitasi terhadap cinta sekadar antara insan atau cinta pada material juga kemegahan nama dan pengiktirafan dunia sebaliknya paling agung yang utama cinta ILAHI iaitu cinta ALLAH s.w.t yg kekal abadi sebagai pemilik seluruh cinta..

maka cinta lah Dia seluruh pelusuk jiwa raga dan hidup tp biarla di pengetahuan Dia sahaja..

(nota: foto ihsan Google Image)

Si pengemudi cinta
Ogos, 2013
London

harapanku padaMu subur kembali

Wahai tuhanku Yang Esa

Bila kenangkan Qohhar-Mu

Rasa gerun di hatiku

Kerana takutkan seksa-Mu

Hamba-Mu rasa berputus asa

Siapakah dapat bersihkan diri

Dari segala dosa yang menggunung

Setiap hari setiap ketika

Tika mengenang Ghaffar-Mu

Putus asa tiada lagi

Semangatku pulih semula

Harapanku subur kembali

Ujian menimpa menekan dijiwa

Tak sanggup meneruskan perjuanganku

Mehnah-Mu itu penghapus dosaku

Mengganti hukuman-Mu di akhirat

Wahai tuhanku Yang Esa

Bila kenangkan Qohhar-Mu

Rasa gerun di hatiku

Kerana takutkan seksa-Mu

Hamba-Mu rasa berputus asa

Siapakah dapat bersihkan diri

Dari segala dosa yang menggunung

Setiap hari setiap ketika

Di waktu mengenang rahmat-Mu

Terasa diri kurang bersyukur

Pada-Mu harus ku memohon

Moga syukurku bertambah

Alangkah susahnya mendidik nafsuku

Yang tidak melihat kebenaran-Mu

Ya Allah tuhanku bantulah hamba-Mu

Dalam mendidik jiwaku ini

(nota: Antara lagu yang menjadi sumber kekuatanku yang dinyanyikan oleh Nazri Johani (bekas anggota kumpulan Raihan) daripada album Nasyid Nostalgia - Memori the Zikr )

(nota: foto ihsan Google Image)

PLAIN & EMPTY

Play around the circle of the valley called heart..try to dig and dig the circle..still searching and digging while found nothing but the dream that might found something..

It’s reached to the end of the digging but the greatest finding is only the plain that full with the empty called emptiness which occur starting from the beginning of the digging..

There is something so “two face” called confuse and prejudice but hope and grateful..

Whether the digging continuously digging or reached to the end of the digging.. it’s still remain PLAIN & EMPTY which slowly portray the truth of the heart called HEART-LESS that finally lead to the SO LONG with the "once" smile…

(note: photo taken somewhere in Central London in March 2013)

FILL IN THE BLANK..

In my life undeniable I often failed to fill in the blank especially in my exam and test finally causes me to the failure..it is because i'm not a smart person but I will be the most stupidest person in the entire world till my last breath if I failed to fill my heart with You..O Allah s.w.t grant me the most magical ‘ink’ of your love that will lasting forever so that I can fill the blank in my heart..because failure to fill in the blank will give me the most emptiness that will never can be replace by anything..

O Allah..I want to fill You..

(Note: Photo taken somewhere in East London, April 2014)

Ex Legal Unit UM

Salam

It's been a while since the last entry. Well I'm busy with my works, PRU13 (haha keep updating the latest info and discussing with friends) and helping a friends doing something. 

Today I wanna share a piece of  of my life that one of thing I miss most. I used to work in Legal Unit  (LU) UM started 3rd January 20112 until 18th February 2013. Yup..short time period but give me so much satisfaction. I considered this job as my first careerer   I had because before this I often working as part time in my field doing research and teaching which is my primary passion. 

I never thought that I can deal and handle with the job (and also the stress and pressure) well and all the work given to me successfully done. At first I'm having difficulties even this is my areas but I'm not specialised in MOA and MOU (its a legal term referring to agreement and memorandum) which had various type because normally I'm doing research, publish paper and organizing conference and talk. Its way different from my previous job. a part of that I'm also specialised in plagiarism (used to be considered as an expert..lolz people in LU relate me with this stuff because I had experiences in research and publish paper but honestly I know nothing about it and me just do my best ). Yup undeniable at first I have to struggle but people surrounding me help me a lot. Not  to mentioned I took 2 weeks MC after my first day working because I'm having BPV (its relate to unbalancing body causes from my ears, I can't even move!!).

I'm also responsible to deliver legal advice in any legal matter including to the top management and is not a surprise if we being called by the management to give quick legal advice at night! How I still remember one of the urgent meeting we had on night at VC office is the objection and allegation from students regarding to the campus election. They came with full of spirit and well prepared but a bit emotion and VC give them the opportunity to voice up their opinion and their dissatisfaction. Then I replied them nicely (I think so..haha) and alhamdulilah they satisfied but is a good experience dealing with the crisis like this.

Despite all the experience, the most memorable experience is having a team in LU where i considered them as my family :) even thought we only a small unit (only 6 of us and a boss) but we so happy always laughing and work hard doing our jb and help each others. they always make me smile even I'm working until late I never feel bored and yes I really addicted with my works..hahaha..All of them have their own special and kind hearts. I love all of them. I still remember every morning any one of them will bought a breakfast for me and is so damn delicious!!They so upset when I decided to leave the job :( But at the same time they are very supportive and help me a lot especially Kak liza, Cik farah , Abg Rizal, Razi and En johan. Only Allah can pay their kindness to me.

For my friends in LU, I love and care all of you and I hope that our siraturahim and friendship never end. Amin. Hoping to see you guys again in future insyaAllah. Thak you Allah for giving me the chance to experience the work and get memorable love from LU :) Alhamdulilah.

That all I wanna share about my beloved LU. Happy reading and until we meet again..insyaAllah..

(Note: All photos taken at Legal Unit, UM in February 2013)

HATI YANG TIDAK LAGI BERTAPI

Penat mencari erti

Utk sentiasa memahami

Sampai masa aku berhenti

Kerana aku juga punya hati

yg sudah lelah dengan sepi

Rebah dengan toleransi

Menyendiri bermakna ia mati

Pasti bukan inspirasi

Cuma mungkin itulah destinasi

Menjadi hati yg tdk bertapi

(Note: Photo was taken somewhere at Brunel University in April 2013) 



WHEN I WAKE UP FROM BED..

Salam..

Today I wanna share diary of my life..A routine at morning..

Back in Malaysia my routine every morning Monday to Friday is get ready to work (and during weekend most of the time I wakeup at my frens house or my hometown. Yup I'm not really a home person during the weekend) Normally after subuh I will go 2 sleep back (ya i  noe its bad..lolz). So when I wake up then i will get ready to work in hurry. Believe or not its only take around 30 minutes the second i wake up from the bed and arived at the office! Suprised? Ya most of people wonder how can I managed to get ready and arived at the office in short time. Well the answers was easy :) When you desperate and late u will noe how 30 minutes can make miracle. Actually, I was lucky too because I live neraby to my office but still facing with the traffic congestion..something that u cant avoid when you live in the middle of KL and I live in Bangsar.

(Note: Photo was taken from windown in my room at Trevor Slater Hall, May 2013)

How ever, today my life  is totally change when I'm back holding my title as a student. No more 30 minutes routine. My life become more calm and beutiful (atleast I think so :) ). Every single morning when I wake up from bed (nope I'm no longer sleep after subuh..hehe..I will perform the prayer before I sleep because Subuh here very early..hoho..) I will talk with my two lovely flowers who become my close frens. THE PINK and THE PURPLE (I dunno why the purple one look like blue..huhu). People said when you talk to them, they actually give reaction. I do hope so. So that they can live much longer. At first it felt ackward but after a while I really enjoy doing it and I feel so peaceful. How I love to take sometime for myself looking nothing at the window and enjoyed the view and wheather.

What a lovely morning, alhamdulilah..thank you Allah for the precious moment ever :)

Until we meet again insyaAllah..

WELCOME TO MY BLOG!

Salam..

This is my very 1st time having my own personal blog. Yes!! I never have my own blog and never have intention to create a blog. Basicly i dont really have anything to say.

What inspired me to have a blog now? I've been inspired by my good friend Salina. She encouraged me to have a blog and share my experience while I'm studying in UK.  Well after a few thought and after I submit my 1st work to my supervisor today, I decided to have a blog :)

I dont usually good in writing or express and potray something in writing but I will try my best. I hope this 1st entry is not the last entry.

Until we meet again insyaAllah :)

(Note: Photo was atken in Alamanda, Putrajaya in 2012)